Transfer fun in the Sun … and the Daily Record

So just who is coming to Ibrox? Some of our existing players are currently looking for new contracts - let’s hope Lovinpants is here for the foreseeable, but I cannae see it - Some may even be moving out of Govan - I’ll noh be sorry to see Latapy go - and some are using their twin brother to drop hints about their impending end-of-season departure. However, the Bears and the media are only ever truly interested in one aspect of the transfer market - ARRIVALS..

The January break coincides with the transfer window. My oh my - however will the Daily Retard and the remaining, far less “Scottish” tabloids fill those column inches?? Yup - you guessed it - with no games to focus on, rumours abound regarding additions to our playing staff.

But two foreign-based players are most definitely in Big Eck’s plans - two players are undeniably on the training pitches of Dubai, wearing blue Diadora sweat tops, lumey bibs and trying to understand Bazza Ferguson’s accent: We know this to be true because it came from the lips of the Ginger Gaffer himself.

Dan Eggen. Norwegian international who played at the 1998 World Cup finals and EURO 2000 too. He turned 33 this week and hasn’t played for his club, Alaves, for around 18 months. Instant, uninformed verdict: He’s too old and too lacking in match practice. Mind you, that’s never been a bar on starring in the SPL!

I can only recall details of two matches in which Eggen featured. One was teh 1-1 draw between Scotland and Norway in Bordeaux during France 98. Eggen let Craig Burley score - that can’t be good.

The other Eggen-our-face game is the 2001 UEFA cup final between Alaves and Liverpool in Dortmund. He played on the right-hand-side of a three-man central defence and was subb’d after 21 minutes with the Basques 2-0 down!! My recollection is the Alaves coach was too chicken-shit to send off the local-boy who captained the side and was having the real central defensive ‘mare but, Eggen’s team brought it back to 4-4 following his departure and were eventually unlucky to lose by a Golden goal. Doesn’t say much for our latest trialist.

Jerome Bonnissel, like Eggen, has been about. However, at 29, he may have more left to offer. Mikel Arteta, who speaks French from his time at PSG, was doing the translating for the Gallic left-back when The Gers flew out from Glasgow Airport. At least Bonnissel’s made the effort to get to Glesgie and check out the facilities but, you also have to ask, why is he so keen to get away from Bordeaux??!!

The former Montpellier and Deportivo La Coruna defender is detailed in the Who’s Who of European Football as a “Keanu Reeves lookalike”. Perhaps the rumours of Amo’s departure to Newcastle are true and Bonnissel is next year’s “one for the ladies”. Perhaps it’ll be him who’s releasing the cookbook - French cuisine’s still sexy, right? - and maybe he’ll be the new poster boy but, frankly, I’m more interested in how able he is to overlap even more effectively than Artie Numan.

… although, there’s no denying his hair IS nice!

We need defensive cover. Of that there can be no doubt and Eggen and Bonnissel definitely have CVs which impress their savvy upon you before they’ve even kicked a ball. Both’ve played in La Liga - one’s played in Le Championnat and one’s played in two major international tourneys. They have oodles of experience.

It’s all about their fitness and their ability to slot into the team. Tell you what, if I was the Rangers manager, I’d take them on trial for a week or so, involve them in the training and maybe even a friendly match and see how they get on before making a decision … oh, wait a minute - I’m told that’s exactly what Eck’s doing.

Whatever happens in the transfer merry-go-round, McLeish has already taken huge pressure off himself. Neither the tabloids nor the Numptie Loyal can start a “he’s only good with other managers’ players” campaign. No-one can criticise Eck’s exploitation of the transfer window.

Steven Thompson became a Ranger while the New Year Bells were still ringing. He was cheap and he scored on his debut. Eck’s use of the transfer window was swift, incisive, thrifty and reaped an instant reward.

Only time will tell if Thompson is a truly successful signing. But as things stand, McLeish has The Gers ahead of the game once again. Off-field or on it, we can currently do no wrong under Eck.