Lichties lightly leathered (Arbroath … 0 GERS … 3)

Why? Why is the way a team at the top of the SPL smote a team at the foot of the First Division a noteworthy subject? Well, because we didn’t do it last season and it was one of the biggest beamers we’ve ever suffered. Admittedly, we weren’t top of the SPL this time last year but we were second top - and Berwick Rangers were well down the SECOND DIVISION!! There were enough parallels to bring all that back to mind and allow me to appreciate with renewed vigour the art of minnow munching.

It’s one of the great ironies of English phraseology that, in a “no-win” situation, you get no praise when you turn it into a “did win” situation. That’s what Rangers did at Gayfield. It’s what Everton couldn’t do at Gay Meadow earlier this month - it’s what Rangers couldn’t do at Shielfield last season.

Professionalism. Sheer professionalism. That was the Rangers way on Saturday night and the fact that this game is already disappearing from the collective Bears’ memory is testament to how deeply Alex McLeish has instilled the work ethic and the will to win among his charges. He was probably still giving Amo, Flo, Konterman, de Boer and co their own heads at this point in 2002. Eck’d only been in the job a few weeks - he was still sussing things out. When those players decided to make the game with Berwick thoroughly memorable in the only way a Gers-v-minnows clash can ever be memorable - by not winning it - he’s rumoured to have torn several layers of facial matter off the lot of them. Those same players eventually repayed him by bringing the Scottish Cup back to Ibrox last May in the most spectacular style (and I’m noh talking about the swanky bus they came back fae Mount Florida in!). On the Angus coastline on Burns Night 2003 most of those same players showed that the lessons of Berwick 2002 had been well remembered.

If Eck’s men had made the final equation truly match the sum of their footballing parts then some would say Arbroaths’ own World record margin of victory would’ve been under threat. But for Rangers to have won 36-0 would have required an effort as unprofessional as the lack of effort necessary for us to have lost this game. We never looked in any danger of losing this one and yet, at the same time, we did all we could to conserve our physical and psychological energy for, with the greatest of respect to the Red Lichties, the more testing opposition we’ll face this week.

Barry Ferguson bestrode the pitch with all the sprezzatura of a man who knows the stage is too small to truly test his talents but that no stage is too small for him to give of his best. He kept the team ticking over at a pace which avoided sloth but nurtured easy victory. The focus was always there and the class was self-evident but it was all delivered without strain.

This is why no Bears were worried when it was still 0-0 after almost half-an-hour. It’s also why it was suddenly 2-0 after a little more than half an hour and why the scoring from both sides finished at 3-0, just before the hour mark.

Barry, of course, scored the first goal. A marvellously simple-looking curler into the bottom right of the Arbroath goalie, aided by a wonderfully perceptive dummy by Shota Arveladze on the six yard line. Skippy leapt like a kangaroo to meet a Ricksen corner in the 31st minute - he then guided it in over the home defenders and under the bar - in true Derek “Hippo” Johnstone style.

The game was over by that stage but things were still close enough for the First Division men to be throwing themselves recklessly into the tackle. When Shota turned sharply and intelligently to curve a diay-cutter in around their stranded keeper in the 58th minute, the Arbroath bluster was firmly consigned to the North Sea’s ever-present elements.

All that remained was for mental Nando Rickers to put in his most sickening challenge of the season so far - a vicious head-butt on Big Lorenzo which means the Puglian pillar will miss out on the trip to Easter Road this Wednesday, at least. So much for conserving ourselves for more testing opponents!!

Both Ricksen and Amo had to go off for treatment and, with only one sub remaining, we had to play the last thirteen minutes with ten men. But while McLeish’s Marvels have proved in Old Firm games that there’s no task too big, they continued to show on Saturday evening that there’s now no task too small either. No consolations for Arbroath … other than the big one in their bank balance.