Speak to Berti Vogts!!

… but maybe that’s just me being silly (and naively not wanting to blame Bazza himself). Anyhoo - this is a straight-up, gen-up, nae-pish, honest, swear-oan-ma-maw’s-life opportunity to put a question straight to the Scotland manager. Well, “straight” as in via this website and via the pages of a leading British soccer magazine.

If you’ve ever read 4-4-2 you’ll be familiar with the One-On-One section in which a major footballing personality is hit with questions from the mag’s readership. In one of the forthcoming issues, Herr Vogts is the man in the chair and you can now pull him up on any of those issues concerning Scotland’s first foreign manager which have you lying awake at night.

Problem is, the interview is taking place on TUESDAY 23rd SEPTEMBER so we need your posers ASAP. Write to hilandeck@aol.com, including your name and the town in which you live, and I’ll get your queries off to the McVogts Meister.

You might want to pull him up on an Old Firm-related issue, a question on his tactics, his often bizarre press statements, his treatment by the press both in Scotland or Germany or - and call me old-fashioned - you might just want to ask him “what’s it like to lift the World Cup?”??!!.

.. or what’s it like to have the pish ripped out you by Kevin Keegan in the European Cup final … or what’s it like to rip the pish out Twente Enschede in the UEFA Cup final … or what’s it like to have play alongside Franz Beckenbauer … was Gerd Muller as clinical in the showers as he was in front of goal? … or what’s it like to stuff Rangers in the Cup-Winners’Cup … what’s it like to have Stefan Effenberg give you the finger in front of billions of TV viewers? Is it worse than taking a footballing lesson from the Faroe Islands etc etc etc