Twin set of doubts?

We’ve already done the childish joke about “everyone’s fantasy involving twins” but the thought of both de Boer twins playing for The Rangers was certainly a fantasy of orgasmic levels … about five years ago!

To have both Ronnie and Frank in the side these days is, for many Bears, a slightly strange move.

Ronnie’s been here for a few years. When he gets fit he is a genius and can take the mick out anything in the SPL - so it makes sense to keep him around, especially when we’re a bit off-form in the striking department these days.

Frank, though, seems almost to be here purely to get himself match-fit for EURO 2004. He’s apparently paying Rangers to get his place in our team. But at whose expense will he be slotted into the starting XI?

Zurab and Berg have been excellent signings. The Norwegian stopper is as much pensionable experience as we need in one area of the field. With Craig Moore back from injury, the centre-half berths Frank de Boer loves to hold are already over-booked.

However, I can’t help but retain a little of my mid-nineties adoration of this serial penalty-misser. Frank will probably still be head and shoulders above anything in the SPL With our injury record we can never have enough guys for any one position - and, remember, Frank can also play midfield.

As long as Eck can still get us a new striker before the deadline ends, I don’t see any harm in having another world class professional, with a Champions League medal in his pocket, sat in our dressing room helping our younger lads get through a tough time for the club.

Welcome to The Family, Frank - you get us looking like a Rangers team again and we’ll get you to Portugal this summer.

PS: Alex Rae? F**k it - yes, please! How often do you see guys on the telly saying they’ve always been Rangers daft and then, an hour after the interview is shown, that guy goes out and single-handedly destroys Man United? Plus, think of the puns we can get out of having two Raes in midfield.

And Nacho Novo - WHY don’t we buy him???