Ostenstad departs: Bluenoses united in grief
If your life has been unduly affected by the departure - or arrival - of Egil Ostenstad , there’s a Channel 4 help-line you can call. Trained councillors will answer questions such as “But how can we be REALLY SURE he’ll never come back?”, “He scored against Man U in the Premiership - you’re shi**ing me??!!” and “what do I do about the flashbacks - I keep seeing him warming up on the Hampden trackside, ready to come on in the CIS Semi-final against Hibs … and that was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!!!!” Just dial 0898 SARCASM.
Yeah. Bit cruel, really but - jeeze! - come on, Egil was posibly one of the duddest of all dud signings made not just this season but any other. The guy was patently unfit so we could never fairly judge how patently untalented he was but that says it all. If you’re gonnae sign a bloke in his thirties on a free-transfer for just one season then you should really make sure he’s fit or will be very soon. Rangers don’t have a lot of time to waste on waiting for auld yins to refind their youth.
The Free Transfer/Bosman tag can be misleading: It might appear that, hey, big Egil cost us nothing so what’s the point in criticising his arrival? But these fellahs don’t play for free - you still have to pay them a salary and the kind of salary which, I’m guessing, would keep a couple of promising youngsters on the path to a place on the brox bench or would keep Frank de Boer in petrol for a month.
On October 26th 1996, the 24-year-old Egil Ostenstad bagged a Premiership hat-trick at The Dell for Southampton against one Manchester United. Okay, admittedly, Eyal Berkovic also scored a couple as the Saints recorded a thoroughly freakish 6-3 win over the Champions - it was obviousy a strange match - but the big Norwegian’s reputation as a striker of note was made in that game. It seems to have been slightly UN-made during his miserable spell at Ibrox.
However, one look at Egil’s record shows the warning signs were there for all to see last summer. Even if Eck hadn’t read the 4-4-2 preview/review of the season, when Blackburn fan James Billouin named Ostenstad as the one plyer he’d most like his club to get rid of (I remember clocking that statement and thinking “Oh dear - poor Egil - I wonder if any club’ll be mug enough to take him off Rovers”!!) - he might at least have checked out the Rothmans Yearbook, a staple piece of reading for any so-called student of the transfer market. One flick to the section on Blackburn’s personnel would have told our gaffer that in EIGHT seasons in English football - Southampton, Rovers and a loan spell at Man City - the Scandinavian had managed an aggregate of just FORTY league goals.
Injuries may have accounted for the fact that he only once got into double figures in the Premiership scoring charts - with ELEVEN for Southampton in 1997/98 - but so many injuries is surely, in itself, a warning sign to ANY Rangers manager. Will we ever finally learn the full lesson of the Prodan debacle??!!
Maybe it’s a Norwegian thing. Staale Stensaas, Thoma Mhyre, Tore Andre Flo. Perhaps Anyone from Oslo, Stavanger, Bergen, Trondheim etc just shouldn’t be allowed to sign for the Rangers. It could be a very rare chemical reaction - there’ something in the Govan air which reaches critical mass when mixed with Norwegian DNA … Christ! - even Henning Berg, who was doing pretty darned well on the pitch this season, had to go and ruin it all by slagging the gaffer in public. Imagine … slagging the Rangers manager in public! I don’t know how he sleeps at night ….
All I know is that Ostensatd played seventeen times for Rangers - thirteen times as a sub - and only managed a whopping two goals. One against Forfar of the Second Division, one against St Johnstone of the First. In his first league appearance, at Tynecastle, he concussed the Hearts goalie with his first aerial challenge but Teppi Moilanen was the only thing Egil ever put into the back of an SPL net. Both his wonder strikes came at home in the CIS Cup and, had he actually managed to knock in a winner in that semi at Hampden - he certainly had the chance to - maybe he’d have turned his Rangers stint around. He’d have put us in a final, by finally netting against a SPL side. He’d be “Egil the CIS cup man” … he’d've scored a hat-trick against Livvy … he’d .. he’d … he’d have left us slightly earlier than Capucho and Emerson.
And he has - he’s off back to Norway and probably a return to Viking Stavanger for whom Rothmans tells us he only once managed a really decent season. Oh, no - wait a minute - it’s not the ROTHMAN’S yearbook anymore, is it! It’s now the SKY SPORTS yearbook. And perhaps that’s our answer. Perhaps the change of sponsor confused Big Alex so he didn’t buy the book and he didn’t buff up on just how keich Egil Ostenstad actually was. In that case, maybe he should just have watched him playing instead. I’ve heard that’s what some managers do before signing a player.
Mind you, how can you watch a player when he’s always injured?
About this entry
You’re currently reading “Ostenstad departs: Bluenoses united in grief,” an entry on FatEck.co.uk
- Published:
- 03.18.04 / 12pm
- Category:
- News
27 Comments
Jump to comment form | comments rss [?] | trackback uri [?]