Eck opens the Prso strings … I’m the Dado in ‘ere … etc etc

When I saw the headlines on the back of today’s Daily Retard I thought it was just the beginning of the transfer-rumour funny season: In other words, the SPL title-race is well over, the Scottish Cup Final’s a few weeks off and so the hacks need to start causing arguments in the workplaces of Scotland (”There’s nae way that guy’s gonnae sign for you hun bastu*ts and if he does he must be sh*te - “Shut it - he’s a total genius and yer jist jealous ya manky bampot” - “jealous oh whit??!! We’ve got Henrik” - “noh fur much longer ” … and you know how it goes on).

But, fair’s fair - give the peddlers of Scotland’s vile litle rags their dues: While continuing their eternal struggle to reduce Scotland to one long cul-de-sac of nosey-neighbours and small-minded gossips living up closes, they actually got a sensationalist fitbaw story right this time: Dado Prso is indeed flying into Glesgie this weekend to have a word with Eck McLeish. How do we know it’s true? Because our very own manager was on the telly, at the Murray Park Friday press conference, confirming the same.

Wonder then if our errant ginger gaffer will actually bother trurning up at the morra’s OF game, seeing as how he’s recently been giving his all to finding new players for next season. Maybe he’ll be sat on the sofa at home, sharing a few beers in front of Sportscene’s live coverage with the pony-tailed Prso, teaching the Croat international the words to the Blue Sea of Ibrox (well - what other song could you posibly sing during an Old Firm game ???).

But, of course, no deal has actually been did-ed yet and it seems as if this one is very much at the “open to negotiations” stage. We’ve been here before. It’s part and parcel of the big club signing syndrome. Like most clubs approaching the close season, we have twice as many potential signings collapse as are followed through but we have the dubious honour of seeing all our nearly-men splattered all over the papers and there are more than the usual amount of mercenaries keen to be linked with Rangers, knowing we can’t afford them, as a way of advertising their availability to the richer clubs of Europe.

Prso has gone on record as describing Ibrox as his favourite ground. The night he played at The Palace, coming on as a second-half sub for AS Monaco in that fateful 2-2 draw in the Champions League of 2000/2001, he did in fact share one of the most incredible atmospheres even I my-regular-self have ever experienced in the Dear Blue Place. When Kenny Miller scored after a few minutes and we seemed to finally be qualifying from a group stage, the place exploded and rocked like it has on very few other occasions. He was also a second-half replacemet when we did the Monagasques 1-0 in the Principality during the same campaign so fate has thrown him particularly impressive memories of our club - who are we to persuade him differently?!

This guy’s definitely worth a go. I haven’t watched him play for anything more than the odd Champions League match but one of those included him equalling Marco Van Basten’s record of four goals in one game (that amazing 8-3 win over Deportivo La Coruna in this season’s tourney) and the other saw him guide in a wickedly fast deflected cross against Chelsea with lovely reaction header in Le Championnat side’s 3-1 first leg triumph in the latest CL semis. Four goals in ONE Champions League match! Michael Mols is our OVERALL leading scorer in CL matches … with a grand total of - yup - four.

His club playing career is all France and I have half an idea he may hold duel nationality. He started with Raphaelais before moving to Monte Carlo. A spell on Corsica with Ajaccio may have been a loan deal as he returned for another, his latest, stint at Monaco. Prso may not be a regular starter but one of the guys keeping him on the bench is a certain Fernando Morientes (GENIUS! We’ll take him too - nae bother) and, well, who are we to sniff at a sub from the Champions League finalists.

He won’t be thirty til November and, in the Euro 2004 play-offs he scored for Croatia against Slovenia goddammit - that IS a pressure game: Parkhead can hold no fears for this dude … Dudo … whatever.

Could we play him tomorrow? Ye know, by way of a trial … “A Trialist nets parkhead hat-trick …” they’ll say on the news …