Gonnae geeze a midfielder, Mr Chairman … sharpish!!

Not really a lot to say here troops except that it was actually the Verein fur Ballspiel of Stuttgart who cowboshed the Swiss international’s move.

Yakin himself had agreed terms with The Teds but the Bundesliga outfit were obviously still harbouring grudges from that 2-1 THRASHING we dished out to them at The Palace last season: Aherm … either that or they just wurnae up for a loan deal and wanted shot of the guy on a permanent basis.

He plays too far forward, he’s made an arse of two quality moves - to VfB and PSG - and he’s a bit fond of himsel in an Amoruso stylee: Pretty soon certain bars on Duke street would be commisioning semi-nude photo sessions and releasing the kind of posters which, while good for our Rangers-supporting wives/girlfriends/sisters/mothers/”special friends” - weren’t EXACTLY helping to inspire the belief that he was more into his football than some OTT ego trip. For Amo in a kilt read Hakin in a pair of tartan panteloons.

So where does this leave us as the transfer deadline looms? facing another four months without a decent midfield ball-player, that’s here! Never mind getting Souness from Blackburn - what about wee Bazza??!!

Stephen Hughes just doesn’t seem to be the answer. I love that thing he does when he takes the ball on his instep, turns with it and lays it off in the opposite direction of the incoming tackle. But that seems to be ALL he can do … apart from impersonating the Invisible Man every time we play away from home. Nice bloke and I don’t like dissing our own but it’s a bad time for us and things have to be said.

Right now we seem to be asking players to pretend to be that long-passing, play-switching, nut-megging, inswinging mercurial dictator of games we’ve lacked since Barry went south and de Boer lost all interest.

Mladenovic and Rae are too defensive. Good at it but essentially they have different jobs to do. They’ll be more than adequate when we’re playing everyone else in the SPL but it’s celtic games and matches against, say, Maritimo of Portugal, which require us to have an out-and-out, purely, solely creative force.

Big Boumsong has actually been one of our best instigators of attacks this last few weeks. He’s a fekin centre half!

Apart from anything else, a decent creative midfielder will finally allow Novo and Prso to concentrate 100% on striking rather than diluting their impact in front of goal with their runs back to the centre of the park.

Gavin Rae? Nope - like I say - we need another midfielder.

Or maybe David Murray’s return to the fold will be in typically headline-grabbing fashion. Maybe at the press conference to mark his re-sitting down in the Chairman’s seat he’ll bring along a “here’s one I signed earlier” surprise for the troops.

Who could it be? Who would he have to sign to get all those Rangers fans off his back? Ye know, all those Rangers fans who were nowhere to be seen when we were playing to home crowds of 8,000 in the early eighties and finishing fourth in the league but who are now turning up in their twenties and thirties of thousands to berate the guy who brought us Nine In A Row and Champions League football every second season? What midfielder would our owner have to have signed in order to get these guys off his back?

Give ye a clue - his initials are Z Z.