This week’s Sunday Herald co*k-up & Dadhu is a foot-butting monster.

Page 7. Headine “Underdogs keen to show they have bite”
Journo: Stewart Fisher:
Paragraph one: “… Club Sport Maritimo have only won the Portugese league once - back in 1926 …”

NAH! Maritimo have NEVER won the Portuguese League (Only Porto, Benfica, Sporting Lisbon, Belenenses and Boavista have managed this).

Maritimo won the Portugese CUP in 1926. The first Portugese league championship wasn’t won until 1935!

Say it in in too much detail and say it loud, “I’m sad and I’m proud”.

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PS: Like Patricia Cornwell putting down her best-selling crime novels and going after the identity of Jack The Ripper (She reckons it was Walter Sickart, this artist bloke - thanks for the article, Sunday Herald Magazine!), I’ve found time to do a bit of private Dicking (what?!) and discovered that Alex Rae is, as we all suspect, completeley INNOCENT of any misdeeds in European football.

It seems that poor old UEFA had the wool pulled over their Italian designer chrome-framed eyes by the Machiavellian machinations of the so-called “victim” of the infamous “Moscow Skull” incident.

Serghei Dadu, that head-dipping ANIMAL of CSKA turned out for his country, Moldova, the other night in a World Cup qualifier against Italy. he was sent off for not one but TWO bookable offences! SCUM-BAG! If this isn’t proof positive that Dadhu is a career con-man with psycopathic tendencies who viciously BUTTED our Alex in the toenail that night, then I don’t honestly know what does.

If the Rae-gun wasn’t so injured we’d have him un-banned for the Uefa Cup game on Thursday. Well, so my lawyer, Mr O’Neill says.