Will the Moscow Mules be Wronki donkeys? Uefa Cup build-up

You noticed how much more we’re seeing of Nando Ricksen in the guise of interviewee these days? Okay, I know he’s used to answering questions for Strathclyde Police and SFA Disciplinary commitees, but his mad-eyed stare and generally scary Dutch accent seems to be geting the one-on-one treatment from TV broadcasters a lot more than it used to. He really is in danger of becoming, ulp, a senior member of our squad - an ambassador for the club almost!

He got MOM after the Maritimo game, didn’t he, with obligatory slurred sycophancy from Chico Young, and then he was back on the beeb doing some Saturday lunchtime heartfelt interview about his contract negotiations. There he was again tonight, on BBC Reporting Scotland, scaring the shit out the weans all over the country trying to eat their dinner in peace as the Alkmaar Animal loked unblinkingly into a camera at Glasgow airport.

Nando said something along the lines of “Aye - we’re the pyoor best team in this group ya bassturyts and embdy that says different is totally CLAIMED, ya microphone-fondling cu*t ye”. His English is fair coming on! Ye just knew he’d jogged down the M8 to catch the plane while the rest of his “Faggot” team-mates had taken the “faggot ” team bus.

The adrenaline was still pumping and the nuances were a bit lost in the translation as Nando went all Advocaat and sounded like he was creating a noose for all our necks. Methinks he MEANT to say we’re the biggest club in group F in financial and historic and stadium terms so we should be trying to finish top rather than sneaking through in third place (would do me!). But it came out as kind of “this’ll be a skoosh - nae danger!”.

Erm, no it won’t. But I think Nando actually knows that and it says a lot about his rehabilitation that he’s one guy we know will be giving it maximum effort and taking nowt for granted in Wronki. Him and Boab in the midfield - ” …mere anarchy is loosed upon the world …”

We’ve lost both our previous away ties in Europe this season by a single goal and Wronki look like being little less difficult than Maritimo, in terms of their ground, their team, their standing in their league, everything. So it’ll be damned akward and we’re there for the taking if not firing on all cylinders. I fear for the season and McLeish if we take a beating in Poland.

Things are starting to turn round but not with any great conviction. His second attempt at his own team is at a very fragile stage just now and the Ginger Gaffer needs his strikers to continue their recent upturn in form, to convert all those chances we made in Madeira, and to keep the confidence building towards the double-header with the Champions League Pointless Ones.

More than that, I don’t want to be getting the calculator out at any point in this particular Group stage. A win in our first game gets us off to a flier and solves all possible permutations about how we get through to the next knock-out phase of the lesser of the Euro trophies. Win this game, win the next one - win them all and we’ll be top. Simple.

Talking of simple - see Michael Ball’s in Poland. SO THAT’S WHERE HE’S BEEN!!

Already I’m envisioning him in just enough games to cost us that