Gonnae geeze away goals but don’t gie goals away

They’ve only managed three goals and three points all season - Livingston, that is. So wouldn’t it be JUST LIKE THE THING if Paul Lambert’s basement boys were the ones to crack Rangers’ sen-sen-sen-sensational recent defensive record.

Wouldn’t it be JUST LIKE THE THING if Alex McLeish’s career as Rangers manager came to an end because we let in as many goals against West Lothian’s disintegrating community football experiment as we did against Internazionale of Milan. And, up front, we continued with this season’s average of 0.8 goals on the road.

One at Inverness, two at Pittodrie, one at Falkirk, none at Tynecastle, none at Tannadice. Our away form started bad then kind of fell away. With the exception, perhaps, of the Aberdeen game, scoring on the road is defo our big domestic problem. We have to sort it ourt sharpish, aganist the only side to have defeated Hearts this season.

Livingston 1, Rangers 0.8

That’s the most dreaded scoreline. Paul Lambert, naturally, would be the man netting the winner - Dado Prso would score our eight tenths of a consolation. And those knives which are already out for Big Eck, would be hurtling from the away fans to the away dug-out.

Of course, McLeish wouldn’t be sacked if we lost to Livvy - but he might well resign, such would be the abuse he’d suffer.

And, of course, we wouldn’t need to lose at Livvy for Big Eck to take a barrage from some of the Bears - anything less than an emphatic win will be unbearable for all of us. How we express that frustration is up to the individual - for Yours Bluely it would be some quiet plastic chair-kicking at yellow Legoland during the game, coupled with an unending internal monolougue enroute to the transport and then a very external monologue to anyone in my company back along the M8 and then, well, reams of typo-ridden pish like what you’re reading right now will be hammered into my keyboard, all rounded off with half an hour of self-harming with a pair of scissors and a blow torch.

But I wouldnae slag The Gers at the game.

Yes - I know - well done, me. Aren’t I the fucking martyr. I know this is a tiresome theme. In the last week there’s been enough “I know how to support Rangers - you don’t” to last us til the end of the season … well, the end of October anyway. I’ll give it a rest, as long as The Rangers give us what we want this mid-week: Three points and at least a three goal margin of victory.

Ironically, the one solid part of our play just now, the defence, is being hammered by injuries. Big Sotirios would have missed Saturday at home to The Well even if he hadn’t been suspended. He’s not looking like he’ll make it for the trip to Almondvale.

Similairly Rodriguez - not exactly a hero to the support yet but a guy coming onto a game - is suffering from a tight hammy (nothing nicer!) and will make way probably for Big Pierre-Fanfan, the man who scored against Livvy on day one of the season. He’ll partner Big Marv - the man who left Livvy a hero to become a hero with The Teds, the man who keeps believing.

Is Hutton ready to take over at right back, from the start? Will Ricksen go to midfield? Would I like to see Lovenpants playing alongside Dado in attack again? - that’s the only one I can answer: Yup!

Main thing is that there’s a chance those above us will drop points this Wednesday - we’d look mighty foolish if we failed to capitalise, especially playing a team with such an awful record this term. I have concerns about Big Eck, yes - but they ain’t the kind that’s gonnae see me wanting him sacked. If we don’t win our next SPL match, though, he’ll probably resign.

Looking forward to my wee trip East. Hope you all are too. Hope springs eternal. Hope Rangers knock in some goals and let their scoring confidence soar sky-high. We want to break the back of our goal-shyness. If we don’t do it in this game, we maybe never will. But that still wouldn’t be enough to condemn a guy who won us the league in May and has yet to see us knocked out any comeptition we’ve entered.

If you can win every game 0.8 - nil, you’ll still win the league.