FatEck.co.uk

News and comment on Rangers FC.

1. Velly well Hung 03.14.06 / 10pm

   Ach Bien mes Amies , I have perused the above artickle with an open mind ( some bugger whacked me whae un Hatchet ! ) and I have to say that I am velly Puzzled as to why we should be appy that Monseiour Le Guen has taken ober the reins at Ibrocks Stadium !! Qui ! He has lots of money to spend apparently, Presidente Murray has sold the jerseys to raise la dosh , so we can expect to say Henry and Beckham at La Stadium ( The Methadone is wearing aff !! ) next summer, so Ra Sellick better watch oot !! I will have la Franchise for ra chicken chow mein, so I am velly happy. PLEASE somebody , take me hame tae Gartnavel , ma heids gein me jip !! Och bugger it , am aff tae the pub . Fat Eck can join me if he wants tae , if no he can reach me at bileyeroanheid.co.uk C.mon the jam tarts s+++e !! wrang team !!!!!!!!!!!
2. Furball 03.14.06 / 11pm

   Bugger it all! Tis sad and doleful tidings indeed.

   One of the very few columns I look forward to reading and now that particular avenue of pleasure is being closed off to me.

   Is there no way the Fatster will reconsider his decision? If not then many many thanks for all the articles over the years, they made me chuckle at the intelligence and wit therein contained.

   I raise my half full glass to thee sir.

   Salute.
3. calvinist 03.15.06 / 12pm

   You’ll not be missed
4. Lone Star Ranger 03.15.06 / 1pm

   Ermmm….if i read Alex’s blog correctly he is offering up a satire on the current managerial situation at le Brox and not actually going anywhere?

   So Eck, ahm a cake or a meringue?

   LSR

   Un Dieu B�nissent Les Rangers
5. Your friend from The North 03.15.06 / 1pm

   Ha, ha. Very good - from Fat Eck to Le Grande Alex. May I also suggest Le Grande Fromage as a further alternative?

   Nice piece on Jimmy Johnstone, very poignant even to myself who never saw him play in the flesh (well, I probably did at Borough Briggs but can’t remember anything about it).
6. Add N to X 03.15.06 / 2pm

   Sadly, I read this as a satire.

   It is a shame - you are a self-loather who does the opposition’s job for them and you wouldn’t be missed if you did decide to head off.

   With friends like you…we’ll always be in the grubber.
7. Add P to L to G 03.15.06 / 7pm

   FAO Add N to X,

   Fat Eck may be a self-loather, but he loves Rangers more than he hates Celtic. I think you hate Celtic more than you love Rangers.

   You would probably rather see Ibrox closed for a few games than stop singing FTP. As you say:

   “With friends like you�we�ll always be in the grubber.”
8. Fat Eck 03.15.06 / 8pm

   Very Well hung - ooh, get you ducky. Gartnavel it is.

   Furball - fuckin hell! Gonnae noh dae that, ya total bloody gent! I’m lost when folk are NICE tae me! Half full glass raised at this end - CHEERS!

   Lone Star - naw, yer right, mate: I’m a total doughnut :-)

   My Friend From The North - d’ye know Borough Briggs is one of only two of the current 42 League grounds in Scotland I huvnae been tae!

   I can be as cheesey as anyone!

   Add N to X - thank god for that - too many nice posts there for a while. yes, I’m afraid the one time satire isn’t wasted on you you are correct: It’s a meringue.

   “self-loather”, “Self-hater” - noh heard them for a while. Do you per chance read When Saturday Comes? And occassionally drop them a letter..?

   What is N plus X anyway? - not very good with Roman numerals …

   Erm, was it any particular comment of mine which set you off or is it just my general tone which your First in psychology has allowed you to determine advanced self-despisement?

   I hate myself for supporting Rangers or do I just hate Rangers? … and LOVE myself for being so smug about it. Yes - now I see where you’re coming from: the grubber!

   Could I just ask ye one favour - as you obviously read all my rants and are a great big fan of the site, gonnae come on here with that pishy patter next time I get 70 e-mails fae cetic fans telling me I’m a bigoted bastard who loves nothing more than a good neck-tie party?

   Could ya?

   Would ya?

   Call ya

   Love ya

   Add P to L to G - what the … ? How the … ? WHAT IS THIS STRANGE CODE everyone’s suddenly talking!!? It’s like that binary patter ye get from computer geeks (”there’s only 10 types of people in the world …”) - As far as I was aware rangers were always in The Palace and Celtic were in a grubby place … in fact Rangers forever, Celtic in the river …
9. u2 03.15.06 / 10pm

   Eck,

   You clearly still suffer from some form of schizophrenia. Sane a reasonable when it suits your needs; bitter and offensive other times;

   Not unlike like the tabloids you claim to dislike so. Maybe you secretly yearn for a job at the DR or the NotW? You certainly have the credentials.

   From a couple of threads back (I don’t visit this site as often as I used to)…your swipe at me was borne out of stereotyping Celtic fans who think there’s a difference bewteen our fans’ behaviour.

   My best mate went to Villarreal with his son and nephew. “The polis were heavy handed, but there were too many Gers fans without tickets causing the whole fkin episode.” Direct quote from email.

   He said there were too many ar** holes in Bratislava and that he’s travelled abroad for the last time with Rangers.

   HE likened Scotland fans to Celtic fans on their behaviour abroad (he was in Stuttgart on business when Celtic were there) and likened England fans to Rangers fans abroad.

   That might be harsh, but his thoughts, not a Celtic fans.

   I hope the Jammy Farts pump it to yese and we might just let them and Hibs win at Celtic Park just to do mainland Europe a favour for next season.
10. Boaby 03.16.06 / 9am

    @U2:

    “His thoughts, not a Celtic fans”?
    Oh well, mate, that settles it then, eh?
    And there was wee, Celtic-fan-you, thinking all Rangers fans were wondeful ambassadors for Scotland until then, I suppose?
    Your mate has, for once and for all, given you all the evidence you’ll ever need to back up your “GFITW” rubbish.
    I take it this “mate” of yours also behaved terribly? He is a Rangers supporter, after all, and they’re all scum, are they not? In fact, why are you his mate?

    You were obviously delighted to hear his tale though, whilst putting on your pathetically thin veil of outrage.

    I could give you many a tale about Scotland, Celtic and Rangers fans abroad (I’ve witnessed all three) that would counter your (sorry, your “mate’s”) claims but there would be no point.

    There are plenty of knuckle-dragging idiots following Rangers abroad. I’m happy to acknowledge that.

    Now away back to your happy wee fantasy land where 100% of Celtic and Scotland fans completely without sin….

    :roll:
11. Add N to X 03.16.06 / 9am

    PLG, Fat Eck;

    I don’t hate Celtic more than I love my club. But equally, I’d never refer to myself or our support as ‘Huns’ and if given the chance in a national magazine to say what I’d do as Chairman of The Rangers, I doubt I’d use that chance to re-inforce negative images of my club by saying ‘I’d publically acknowledge our support is full of Protestants and bigots’.

    Fuck the youth development, supporters representation, building a museum; let’s do what’s important!

    The rather sad allegations of bigotry - ‘you pure must sing FTP an at’ - are what I’d expect from a follower of the East Enders, but then again, in desperation to be loved, you’ve probably picked up a few habits by osmosis.

    Rangers are under attack at the moment - I doubt very much it was a legion of angry Spaniards who contacted UEFA - and apologising at every turn isn’t going to wash.

    But hey! Let’s all be friends! I’m sure once we acceed to every demand put to us everyone will love us!
12. calvinist 03.16.06 / 10am

    I’m assuming fat Eck that you are moving down south?
    If that’s the case, that’s no excuse to transfer your, ahem, skills to another club.
    If that is not the case then you have as much right to call yourself a bear as Graham Spiers.
13. los palmas 7 03.16.06 / 10am

    My timing seems to be just dandy here. Whilst mr Google points me here and there on my travels with all things Rangers, I happen upon this site.
    My attention is particularly attracted to plump soon going away ginger managers little spat with add N to X. Not sure if we enjoy a team cuddle of the trees on here, but I found myself agreeing somewhat whole heartedly with the add n to x fella. (obviously after I stopped laughing at the absolutely hilarious and side splitting remarks from the fat eckkster naturally)
    I did enjoy the magnificent attempts at “satire” and “sarcasm” though to be fair.
    bottom line, it migh tnot be trendy but the Gers are under attack at all levels…
    And thats a fact troops
14. u2 03.16.06 / 8pm

    Aptly named Boaby,

    You seem a little irked.

    Is it because I have a mate? Maybe you don’t have any.

    Is it because my mate happens to support Rangers? Maybe that would cause you some difficulty in shoe-horning me into your absolute stereotype of a Celtic fan. From your last post you seem to have no difficulty in doing that. Somewhat wrongly.

    You seem to have an underlying doubt as to whether this mate of mine actually exists. Is it so incredible in your polarised little world? His mate follow-follows the bears abroad? No way.

    Is it because Celtic fans get real plaudits for their behaviour around Europe? Do you just hate that, aptly named Boaby, do you? How can those bitter, paranoid, hooped hordes get away with it? People liking them abroad and wanting to set up supporters clubs to join the hoops…..and everything. Why can’t they see them as I see them? Why? Why is that?

    Is it because an eye witness Rangers fan actually had the audicity to tell a Celtic mate that some (note the absence of any absolutes in my language) bears were totally out of order?

    Is it because I never actually said anything about ALL Rangers fans being “scum” (your word, never mine)? Are you irked that you had to put that in yourself because I never. eh? Are you, aptly named Boaby?

    Is it because I never once mentioned the phrase GFITW, again, quoting you? Is it because you had to make things up, things that I never said or implied, to allow you to cast me in the sterotype you soooo want me to be?

    Is it because the Scots and the Irish have rightly earned great reputations when travelling abroad to watch their countries - and those Tims - they get the best of both those worlds while abroad, so they do? And you, being caught in that great dicotomy of being Scottish but looking for all the world like the while follow-following your team? Does that irk you, aptly named Boaby, the fact that you lose your Scottish brownie points because you look like stereotypical English hooligans from the nineties? You certainly do, you know. Even the fat chap acknowledges that one.

    Is it because no one likes you and you don’t care? Is it because you hate Celtic, fenian b******s? Is it because you want to chase them everywhere?

    Aptly named Boaby, yera boaby right enough.

    C’mon the jammy farts.
15. Fat Eck 03.16.06 / 8pm

    LOL! :-) U2 and “Add N to X” - can I ask you to read each others comments and maybe everything will become clearer to both of you! :-)

    If only …

    Okay, U2 - you first: think Boaby’s kinda dealt with you - Cheers, Boab! - but you and I have been through all this before: I now believe you genuinely have no idea that you’re saying anything which is in any way snidey. You come on to a Rangers site and throw in wee self-righteous one-liners about Rangers fans’ behaviour (tho,remarkably, one of your fellow posters on this thread seems to think I’m even worse than you when it comes to rejoicing in Rangers’ bad publicity!)and think it’s in no way likely to piss-off Gers fans because “hey - they must KNOW they’re worse than celtic fans”. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in that you genuinely do not know what you do. But ye can still fuck off - in the nicest possible way.

    You don’t read the site as much as you used to? I hope that’s because you don’t like it rather than for any medical reason - honestly - but what you have to understand is that I REALLY DON’T CARE IF YOU NEVER READ IT AGAIN. This is not the Daily Record, Im afraid - your greetin hysterical “How dare you talk to me like that” outrage isn’t something I’m trying to encourage in order to keep ye hooked. If ye talk shite I’ll tell ye and if ye don’t like it ye can get tae fuck. Oh and as for all this pish about “He was there and so he knows”, as Our Friend From The North would say, how the fuck were we supposed to know that - am I a fucking mind-reader?! Not the first time ye’ve chucked “my best friend’s a Bear” into the after-the-fact argument. I do the whole “half my family’s catholic” thing too so we’ll call that quits. If ye want to have a pop, fair enough - at least be honest about it and don’t run away greetin when ye get some back.

    Now, Add N to X -

    Ah knew it - ah totally KNEW IT! You DID read my wee bit in When Saturday Comes. he-he! Superb!:-) Must admit, I thot it would have been one of my actual articles - particularly the one about the racist abuse of Bobo Balde -because someone wrote in to the next edition calling me a self-hater or such like - ye know, you’re kind of patter - must dig it out and and see if an “NX” wrote that one.

    Okay - so - you, like a number of others, decided that my comment in WSC was BAD because it acknowledged there were bigots in the Rangers support. One of their editorial guys actually e-mailed me before it went to press and asked me to clarify it - but I wanted to leave it as a deliberately ambiguous comment because the hard-line, “We only think one, clear way” shit really pisses me off as it’s so patently false and needy: Confused, scared people masquerading as one big hard man.

    What I aimed to do with that comment was make people think: NEARLY worked with you but yer knee-jerk mind-set has got in the way. And your problem is, you’re only thinking about the knee-jerk mindset of others - Celtic fans, tabloids, me - obviously - rather than having the bravery, the class to openly and honestly talk about the club you love (Do you? Do you REALLY love them? Or are you too busy worrying about who hates them and how we can avoid giving them ammo?) Away from all the people, like me - obviously - who are giving Rangers a hard time (how dare they - we’re so weeeee), what is the real identity of Rangers? For you, “add N to X”, what are Rangers ABOUT - take away all the trophies and take away even the family feeling - What is Ragers’ essential identity? Try to consider being passionate about that rather than jumping off on what we’re NOT about.

    You’ve totally ignored one half of my statement: “I�d publically acknowledge our support is full of Protestants and bigots.” Full of Protestants, mate. Protestants AND bigots. I’m making a distinction. And I’m claiming Rangers for the Protestants - everyone else is welcome but this is where we come from. And I’m sick of being told that’s a bad thing.

    I’m sick of being called a bigot merely for supporting Rangers - but the minute you sing “Hullo, Hullo” - and, by god, I do that with all my heart - then you are technically a bigot. What I try to do is show how so much of those claims against the Rangers support are hypocritical as fuck and one of my favourite lines on this site is that “we might sing SONGS of hate - but we don’t actually hate. Celtic fans sing You’ll Never Walk Alone - how lovely - but they go home hating, even when they’ve won.”

    Me having this kind of open affair with the lies us football fans tell ourselves is, for you, a sign of my contempt for myself - and Rangers, apparently. But what are you offering by way of criteria for being a Ture Blue? Since when has every Rangers fan thought the same way? Since when has one bus windae being pelted meant everyone was pelting bus windaes? And since when has BEING A PROTESTANT incorporated “we’re up to our knees in fenian blood - oh, we are the followers of some slasher from auld Glesgie toon”? I’ve never taken a knife or razor to anyone in my life and - as much as I love to sing “Fuck the pope” - coz I really do hate the Catholic Church as an institution - I openly acknowledge I know plenty of LOVELY people who are Roman catholic and plenty of very brave peace activists who are catholic, and that,love or hate the Pope, it really is quite strange to be singing about him at the football and - let’s be honest -0 I hate ALL religiuon but here I am wanting to clainm Rangers for The protestants because that’s where we’re from and that’ll do for me!

    It’s just a wee bitty mixed up, is it not?

    No - don’t tell me - it’s ME whose mixed up and, therefore, I can’t be a real Rangers fan. I hate Rangers - and yet here you are, “Add N to X” telling us that Rangers fans can’t deal with the hypocrisies and complexities of life. Seems like you’re the one calling us morons. Football is one of the ways we forget about how complicated life is - we all unite under one colour, one roof and sing the same songs, even tho no two of us think of life the same way.

    See me, See Fat Eck - Apart from ooh-oohing a black player (tho I think I might have done this at John Barnes and Luther Blissett when they played at Hampden for England in 1984 - I was 14 - I’m ashamed)there is probably nothing I haven’t chanted or sung at any particular time following Rangers. EVERY “Hullo Hullo” of note, I have joined in with. Every Sash, every The Cry was No Surrender and - even tho it’s so ridiculous to think of myself as a Loyal Ulsterman when I’ve been to Belfast for a total of three hours - Build My Gallows High as we poured out of Do Dragao and the Porto fans applauded us because it sounds like such a lyrical, lilting, dream-like ballad of constant beat - these songs are MAGICAL to me because, as sensed the Porto fans who didn’t understand the words, , the words are usually the least important aspect: It’s the PASSION FOR RANGERS which feeds them and the passion they sweep down onto the pitch which is the most important thing about these songs.

    But anyone having a go at us for singing them has to be challenged head-on. We have to show them that we know what they mean by bigotry - we know how they’re qualifying their claims. And then, ONLY THEN, can we shut these buggers up. I want us to be rid of our bigoted IMAGE: the IMAGE. Dont you?

    Or do you enjoy being seen as a really tough guy who won’t even countenanace the thoughts of others.

    People want to have a go at us from all sides? “we’re under attack”? So what?! WHAT ARE WE SO FUCKING SCARED OF??!!! We’re Rangers for fuck’s sake. Did ye noh pay any money into the Bill Struth banner? did ye think the quote from the great man only refered to a chase ON the field? WE WELCOME THE CHASE! Away and don’t be a disgrace to the jersey. “ooh - don’t say bad things about us, Fat Eck - ye’ll only help the anti-Rangers bullies - shhh - they mite hear you”. Fucking BRING THEM ON! We’re the biggest, proudest club in this country and if you think I’m gonnae get all paranoid and defensive like a bleating lamb - if you think I’m gonnae end up moaning about the media and what those nasty Celtic fans are saying then ye can take a flying fuck tae yerself. If folk insult us and attack us, “add N to X” then it’s because they’re SCARED of us and that is just the way I want them to be.

    Oh and, don’t get me started on the whole “hun” thing. If you don’t understand the concept of context then there’s fuck all I can do for you.

    I urge you to go down and have a look at my rant on the Spansih polis’ treatment of us in Villarreal - and my rant titled “Milosevic is dead but we still have Rangers”.

    You’ve seriously insulted me, mate so I’ve had a wee pop back and I’ve stopped short of telling you just exactly what I’ve sussed of your credentials to be a Rangers fan because I think, in your clumsy way, you’ve raised a very good debate about how we see ourselves … and that’s exactly what I was trying to do with my comment in WSC. I’ve given ye a lengthy answer here - I could have dismissed ye but I haven’t. Now do me the decency of reading my stuff and coming back to me.

    S’okay - ye don’t have to make it as lengthy - I know I go on a bit. Aherm.
16. u2 03.16.06 / 9pm

    Eck,

    The reason I don’t visit often is nothing medical, but thanks for your concern. Heartfelt or not.

    Was I really hysterical and greetin? Naw, but really? Was I? Are you sure you’ve not mixed me up with aptly named Boaby? I never greeted once.

    I might have been snidey. Aye, just a wee bit. I couldn’t not chuck in the “my mate’s a Rangers fan”, especially since it was his observations that I trusted, rather than uncle McIntyre and his “a polis dunnit and rode away on a horse” excuse for the bus window getting tanned.

    I’ve had barneys on Celtic sites over our “away from home” repertoire, so I don’t need to come here for skirmish. I can get that anywhere. But pointing out that “the polis were to blame and rode away” excuse was nothing other than pure, utter pish would have met with wholehearted agreement on the Celtic sites.

    So I thought I#d share them with yous.

    My inlaws side are all cursed with the same affliction you are - fat and Rangers fans.

    Are there any other kind, I often wonder?

    C’mon the Hibees as well.
17. u2 03.16.06 / 9pm

    I’m pissed off now.

    I’ve just read the remainder of your post. I see that “add N to X” seriously insulted you. It should’ve been me. Me I tell you. Why not me? Why him?

    You talk a right mix of sense and pish. All in the one post, too. Quite impressive. Just when the stuff that makes sense gets to the important bit - away ye go again and nullify it by talking utter mince again.

    Nice tunes. The words don’t matter. So long as the tunes are nice. I hope they don’t spring that on me on the Celtic sites - I’ll have nowhere to take my argment after such a earth shifting declaration.

    At least you can see the perception and at least arguing it out for the better of your club. But you must eat a hypocrite supper on yer way home from the match.

    C’mon the jammy farts and the Hibees. Nae fatties in Europe, oh there’ll be nae fatties in Europe…
18. Bearwood 03.17.06 / 10am

    I was going to go into details but why bother?

    You are beyond naive, long ago passed ‘wet behind the ears’ and long since entered the realms of clueless.

    You cannot either appease or reason with those sections of the media and swathe of the Sellik support who don’t just hate us but have made that hatred their raison d’etre.

    Perhaps in a decade or so you’ll catch on.
19. Derek 03.17.06 / 1pm

    Eck, I’m speed-reading your comments above, and haven’t read the WSC article, so perhaps missing some hidden meaning but you say “I�d publically acknowledge our support is full of Protestants and bigots” then you say “I�m sick of being called a bigot merely for supporting Rangers”.

    In the first statement you call yourself a bigot then in the second you say that you are sick of being called a bigot.

    :scratches head:

    Am I looking at this far too simplistically?

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