Waldo and Coisty seek yet more comfy laurels

Sod the politics just noo - The FOOTBALLING aspect of last Thursday’s game with Hapoel Tel Aviv WILL be paramount in the story of that game. We destroyed a potentially tricky opponent with absolutely no need for sweating by any but the most nervous Bears and Bearettes.

So, okay, I did a bit of porcine perspiring but a goal after 24 minutes put us ahead in the tie, a second ten minutes later left Hapoel chasing the game at half-time and it was followed by a third with just over 20 minutes left and a wrap-me-in-cling-film-and-put-me-in-the-fridge-til-the-Osasuna-game fourth in injury time. This, troops, is fucking magic. This, for yer Gers punter under 40 years of age, is the kind of stuff European dreams are made of.

Wet dreams.

My 90-minute cloth-touching only ended when Charlie Adam made it four. I wasn’t at the game but, amongst Rangers fans the world over, I was clearly in an emotional minority. On reflection, this game was a walk in the park. A park without cottages. My hour and a half of jangled nerves came through sheer force of habit, an almost Pavlovian reaction - “Rangers, in Europe, can always go tits up” said my instincts: Cannae help it, I’m afraid. I’ve been attending European games at The Palace for nigh-on quarter of a century now and The UEFA flag flying over the Govan means inevitable trauma, embarrassment, nail-biting and downright dissapointment more than it ever means dawdle, relax, chill, piece of piss, enjoyment, EASY STREET.

But, take away my canine blinkers, remove my big bowl of dissapointment and ring that bell which sounds remarkably like a foreign referee’s whistle and I suddenly find myself looking in the face of one of the smoothest nights of significant continental action in which I’ve ever seen Rangers involved, be it on TV or at The Brox itself.

Hapoel Tel-Aviv have never done anything in Europe, really. For the second goal they actually passed it to Kris Boyd on the edge of their own box. We’ll get no reports in the non-Israeli or non-Scottish press for what the wider soccer world will view as a routine, expected victory. HOWEVER - Hapoel did stuff a pre-PLG PSG 4-2 in Paris during the group stage and us who wear the Red, White and Blue in Europa (and the Middle East) know that many another side has come to Ibrox with a shabby reputation - perhaps even worse than Hapoel’s pre-Paris record - and embarrassed the fuck out of us. Viktoria Zizkov being probably the most recent example - the Prague side would probably lose out to Hapoel in a game this season or even back in 2002. Moreover, Rangers just don’t reverese away defeats. We did lose that first leg in Israel and it’s TWENTY YEARS (!!)since we last reversed a first leg away defeat to progress by dint of our actions in the home leg. I was STANDING in the West Enclosure the night we did Dynamo Kiev and we spent the last ten minutes of that game cheering 40-yard PASS BACKS from Terry Butcher to Chris Woods’ hands - pass-backs Chris was allowed to pick up. (in case ye haven’t sussed, im trying to give you an idea of how long ago that gane took place. Rules have changed, stadium’s changed , players featured are all now coaches, etc)

I’ve hit ye with a few more glam stats about the Hapoel win in the last rant - to the right of this one on the home page - but the most significant factor for me is the stage on which this game took place - the last 32 of the UEFA Cup. Not very impressive admittedly, but to make the last 16, to still be involved in Europe in March, is pretty rarefied calendar territory for The Teds these decades. And to take on such a potentially historic obstacle with such confidence, such elan, such POWER, was bloody amazing when compared to all the other Govan chokes I’ve watched down the years.. Hapoel might have gifted us the ball a few times but, as our aforementioned records make plain, we’ve stared many a gift horse in the mouth since 24th May 1972.

Not that there were any hand-outs when we won the Cup Winners Cup. And, from now on in, the gift-horses have all been sent to the knackers yard. Osasuna of Navarre, of Pamplona, of La Liga, are arguably about as “easy” as it gets from now on in this latest European season.

And you just know they’re thinking the same thing about us!

But this is the furthest we’ve ever progresed in the UEFA Cup and it must be hats off to Walter Smith and Ally McCoist. And I’m glad to raise my bowler to two men who I thought were potentially being hung out to dry at the very moment their initial careers at Ibrox had become far enough travelled in time for the loudmouths to give them the appreciation they were finally due. You all know what I’m on about and I won’t dredge it up again - for now - other than to say that Walter and Ally deserve all the credit for this victory, even if another manager got Rangers to the last 32.

The movie Spartacus starred Krik Douglas, as we all know. It was directed by Stanley Kubrick, as less of us know. And Kubrick was actually the second director of that movie because, a fortnight or so into filming, the original director Anthony Mann, was sacked. Why? Why was the director dismissed so ridiculously early in his project? The word is it was because he just couldn’t get on with the on-screen star, Mr Douglas of the Kirk.

Well, Barry Ferguson, the undoubted on-field star of last Thursday night’s thriller, seems to have had a lot to do with Paul Le Guen being sacked ridiculously early in his attempt to bring epic success to The Teds. But, as with Anthony Mann, no-one will give a fuck who started off our European season, if we can go on and reach the UEFA cup final. It will be all about who got us there and, frankly, if we can get past Osasuna, never mind whoever may wait in the quarters, semi and final, Walter Smith will deserve the level of critical reverence in which Kubrick is held.

The love he gets unconditionally.

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Published:
02.26.07 / 7pm
Category:
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