Religious violence in Glasgow (aherm) shocker

The streets will run with the blood of the infidel!

But enough about Follow Follow’s attitude towards Graeme Speirs.

How about my fu**ing holiday plans!!! EH??!!

Goram, Hateley, Walter and Gough!! I cannae FEKIN belieeeeeve it!

The signs were ominous enough when, exactly one week after I’d booked the flights and accomodation in Bilbao, ETA called off their fucking Cease-fire!!

Still, I thought” they’re no gonnae bomb the Basque region itself - as long as I don’t nip doon tae Madrid I’ll be safe enough”.

Then, less than 48 hours before we’re due to depart, a pair of sad twats drive a fuckin 4×4 (they’re murder to steer they things) into the doors at Glesgie bloody Airport - the very doors I was supposed to walk through tomorrow morning as I set off on said hols.

Oh yes, I know - how insensitive of me - all that carnage and devestation and I’m worried about my holidays - I should be grateful just to be alive etc etc.

FUCK THAT! After all the hype over the last few days, the total carnage is one Cherokee jeep (And, god knows we all could all do with a few less of those about - they think they fucking OWN the roads!) and one slightly charred wannabe martyr.

The fucking RAIN has caused more damage and loss of innocent British life in the last week than these sad, lonely, uptight gits who fulfill every tabloid editor’s fantasy simply because they cannae have a shag or a beer and, if they’d ever read even as much as a paragraph of Freud, would know EXACTLY why they want to kill themselves and others (they must be GAAAAAGING for a bevvy and a bit of the ole rumpy-pumpy).

For Christ’s sake - (sorry)I mean, for ALLAH’s sake - they were suicide bombers who couldnae even kill themselves! That’s like a lollipop man who forgets his lollipop! They’d “planned” the attack so well, at their “Renfrewshire den of hate”, that they couldnae even fit the fucking jeep through the doors! Jings! Well seeing this was Scotland’s first terrorist attack - we cannae get anything right! Why didn’t they get a nice wee fiesta - or a Mini??! Or maybe they hudnae figured on the revolving door - takes bloody AGES to wait for those things to let you into the building.

Furthermore, were these idiots really from Al Quaeda or had they just had enough of living in Houston? I know that a couple of days in any part of Renfrewshire would be enough to make me want to douse myself in petrol and go Barbeque.

So, there ye are, it’s not about kaffliks and proddeys any more - it’s all about “terrorists” and non-terrorists. See how you don’t know the difference between Sunni and Shia - they don’t know the difference between Catholic and Protestant: They think the Pope, when he said something a bit iffy about Islam recently, was speaking for RANGERS FANS too!! The IRA didnae want to target their Scottish fanbase but yer Islamic fundamentalists (if that’s what these latest gits are) have no such worries - they’re gonnae kill themselves (When they eventually get it right) so they think it’s only right that any of thousands of normal, sane, Scottish Muslims who happen to be caught up in the carnage should just go ahead and regard themselves as martyrdom collateral.

The IRA must be pissing themselves - they never had to top themselves and they used to be so much more successful with their wee bombs. Total devestation. And they eventually got what they wanted. Yet they never quite got the hysterical coverage these Islamic fundamentalist “terrorists” are getting. Don’t remember ever being told that the country was on a critical security alert after any of the Ra’s wee nail and semtex packages went off in the seventies, eighties or nineties.

Mmmm.

Why mention all this on a football website? Well, first of all, I hope it dissapoints anyone who came on here looking for football patter - that way it’ll make us all realise the bar-room politicking we engage in as an excuse to hate/love Rangers/Celtic is a total waste of the time we could be spending talking about our LOVE of the game. Just talking about LOVE. Ye know, we should stick to nice stuff as much as we can - hate begets hate and all that.

Hey - I’m as guilty as anyone.

Secondly, we cannae be getting all Ayr United about Islamic fundamentalism when we ourselves, and I’m talking Rangers fans here, have been so keen to issue a Fatwah on a certain Scottish journalist and anyone who consorts with or fails to utterly condemn him. We might hate fundametalism in others but, FFS, you have to stamp it out in yerself first. The perpetually angry man will always find a reason to vent that anger - and it will always be someone else’s fault and it will ALWAYS be a threat or insult he preceives in a second or third party.

The IRA bombers who killed adults,kids, soldires and civilians with equal impunity, the twats who made a cunt of things yesterday, the UDA an UVF guys who chapped on doors and then blew away the person who answered, in front of their wife and kids, simply because of their religion: I don’t care what “politics” or “cause” these people thought they worked under, the fact of the matter is ye have to have something missing in yer make-up to be so wantonly barbarous, knowing you would ruin the lives of people who mean ye no harm. These people are most likely uptight and insecure about something more personal - probably sex; why else d’ye think old footballer’s used to deny themselves on a Friday night?! Coz it gave them an aggressive edge the next day! - but a lack of education and support denies them the chance to sort it out and we end up paying the price for their shortcomings, all under some pathetically “glamorous” banner.

A “martyr”- it’s just some dead person. It’s just someone denying themselves life. There is nothing else. A victim in this kind of situation, though, is a victim. They have no choice. That’s just unfair and can have no resource to any kind of glory, no matter how twisted.

The “plot” to blow up one London branch of Tiger Tiger (I know their prices are a bit OTT and the music’s shite but, personally, I wouldnae take it that far) involved some bloke who was eager to execute as many partying women as possible: he saw females who socialised, drank, wore pretty clothes and actively sought sexual partners as being somehow immoral and dying in an explosion was some sort of fitting “punishment” as far as nutjob number 1 was concerned.

Says it all really - other folk enjoying themselves, especially the kind of fun-loving girls he could never relate to, or MEET!!!, did this guy’s nut in. Sod yer religion and politics - this is just loneliness and socially stuntedness masquerading as bravado.

We HAVE to chill and enjoy oursleves and we always have to help out where there’s poverty. Material poverty and poverty of mind, body and soul. Coz that’s what breeds hatred - it ain’t nothin to be proud of. It’s just sad.

Fundamentalism is just mentalism. And it occurs in every aspect of society - even on these here pages when some folks like to send me a wee death threat or send me a wee personal e-mail because I’ve been making snipey wee jokes about thier big bad website or their big bad supporters organisation or their huge 60,000-capacity-stadium football club.

As I was saying at the end of last season, the trick is to find a way to defeat yer sour-faced zealot without becoming just like him. Whether it’s the Parkead season-ticket holder telling you your fans deserved a beating in Pamplona because they fly the Union Jack or whether it’s the Ibrox regular telling you you’re a disgrace because you publicly conceded some Gers fans might indeed be sectarian, you just have to realise these people are nutters first and foremost - the colour of their football scarf really is just incidental.

Glorifying hard men and ruthlessness belongs within the theatre that is a football club and its players. When it goes beyond that we’re all a bit pathetic and totally fucked.

And, more to the point, it means I have to stand about in the pissing July rain of Renfrewshire, wondering if I’ll ever get to go my holidays!

HOPEFULLY see yese in a couple of weeks, troops.

Knowing my luck, I’ll be back on here tomorrow, flights cancelled, hotel reservation cancelled because of no-show - can I borrow any of they Seville sombreros from you hoopy types? … ye know, just to give me the impression I’m on holiday as I type … I’ve already got the San Miguel opened … and I’m letting my tomato soup go cold …

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Published:
07.01.07 / 7pm
Category:
News