To Well and Back (GERS … 3 M’Well … 1)

Merry Christmas, football lovers. Hope you and yours are as stuffed full of turkey, Brussels, trifle and the alcoholic beverage of your choice as your rotund editor presently finds himself. I like my scran at the best of times but December 25th really is THE best of times. I usually waddle to Ibrox but you could have rolled me to the game today. It was hard getting out my seat for our first goal - the legs just couldn’t shift that stomach all on their own - but I was leaping lighter than Darcey Bussell on two and a half Es for our second and third. It was a blessed relief to get through this tie with three points gained. I’ll resist puns about having to “fight to the last bell on Boxing Day”, but this was a tough one. Motherwell are European candidates this season and the Claret and Amber XI put us through the emotional wringer in this feisty festive fixture (Sorry - but if yer gettin off with the pun I’m afraid ye’ll have to take the corny alliteration on the chin. It’s Xmas - we’re all feeling a bit sloppy and my “writing” is no different!)

I’ve seen many and various Motherwell incarnations over the years. Some managed by Ex-Rangers have caused us real aggro. Tommy McLean’s Steelmen would defend like demons and although we’d usually come out on top, there was always a late, late, HELLUVA LATE winner involved and we often had to come from behind. Terry Butcher’s version might have had less luck but Tel’s Well did still tend to leave their mark - usually a stud-shaped mark down the thighs, ankles and chests of the Rangers First XI. Some of those Well sides I’ve watched over the last 30 years have been populated by ex-Gers players and have wreaked similair havoc on my nerves. Davie Cooper tied our defence in knots, tugging our heart-strings as he reminded us why we loved him so and Bobby Russel scored one of the best volleyed goals I’ve ever seen by an opposition player at The Brox. The latest edition off the Fir Park presses had already taken two SPL points off us at home this season and then, again on ther own patch, pushed us all the way in a League Cup quarter-final. How would they fair at the Govan Palace?

Along the way, down my three decades of paying into Ibrox, I also saw Mark Mcghee’s playing debut for Celtic. His first match back in Scotland after his spell at HSV was a 3-0 Old Firm defeat at Ibrox. Great game that. I also “stood” on the old Rangers End at hampden when he headed past Peter Shilton in a 1-1 draw with the Auld Enemy in 1984. Today the mushy-faced one showed why he’s my personal tip to succeeed Gordon Strachan at parkheid as his Motherwell side showed great fortitude, skill and - above all - unparalleled levels of improvemet from Maurice Malpas’s stewardship of just 7 months previous. Rangers are far from the finished article. Far, far, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAR from it. We have a hell of a lot of work still to do and probably a few players to buy before we can be confident of regaining the SPL title - and then ten times the improvement again is necessary before we’re the kind of side I want us to be on all fronts. Many of the problems we encountered today were of our own making. But just as many were attributable to this season’s Third Force; Motherwell.

That recently forged reputation seemed a tad presumptuous for much of the first half. All the Steelmen had to show for the first forty minutes was a clean sheet and a single save from Allan McGregor. The ball seemed to hit Alan round about the willy - the springy, firm way it rebounded back out would have me, if I were a doping official, selecting the Rangers goalie for a post-match urine sample. I’d expect to see large doses of viagra in the results.

Cousin retained his place after what many of us felt was a non-performance at Pittodrie. But good work by Steven Whittaker saw Walter’s tactical genius explained as the Big Gabonese gullah slotted home an instinctive and well-executed drive into the bottom right corner. But, as in our last three SPL matches, Rangers went 1-0 up and were drawn back to 1-1 as a result of poor defending at an opposition corner. Hearts and Aberdeen had their chances to go 2-1 up but neither had half as many chances as Motherwell constructed before their equaliser.

I was mightily relieved that the Well goal today came at the END of their sustained bombardment of our goal. As I clamped one hand into my receding hair and the other through the hole I’d just punched in my bucket seat, there was a very clear indication Motherwell will be this season what Aberdeen were last season and Hearts the season before. Not the third force in Scottish Football but the third force in this particular SPL campaign. Hopefully the Lanarkshire side will cement their new status with a home win over Celtic in 11 days time. Particularly as today we managed to seriously dent the Fir Parkers chances of catching us.

That solitary first-half chance enjoyed by the visitors, saved by viagra, actually predicted a more worrying pattern for Rangers. Alan McG had to rush out to his left and get down low as a Well attacker was shown an angled sight of our goal. This is how Alan spent a tewnty-minute spell of the second half: Gowing down low to his left, carrying out last-gasp heroics, assisting the Weirs and Cuellars of the world in last-gasp heroics. It’s not that Steven Whittaker isn’t a left-back, it’s more that he just isn’t a defender. It isn’t fair to blame one man - especially one being played out of position - but the mini-pounding we received from Motherwell in the second half came mostly down our left-hand side and particularly through our left-back region. Sasa Papac isn’t a full-back either - but he is a born defender. Whittaker’s greatest asset, like Alan Hutton, is his forward forrays. The way Steve laid on our opening goal was all the evidence we require in this respect. However, having one full-back who can’t really defend is bad enough but playing two, especially against this season’s third force, scared the shit oot o’ me.

Paul Quinn scored Motherwell’s equaliser. It was a horror story of poor aerial defending. This has to be sorted and sharpish. Set-pieces are killing us of late and, if I was Gordon Strachan (and, believe me, I’m only a missed course of HRT away) I’d be lumping as many high balls into our box as possible from the wings one week today, for Venegoor of Heffalump and Boaby Balde to knock in, on or down. Billy Simpson and Johnny Hubbard made a heart-warming appearance to do the half-time draw (I have a postcard-sized pen-pic of Billy tucked behind the sun visor in my car. Just thought I’d mention that). Too bad Walter coudlnae couldnae get Willie Woodburn or George Young in the first seconds of the upcoming January transfer window - but Messrs Simpson and Hubbard could certainly have a word with our present defence and tell them how their dearly departed team mates used to do it. Time we re-erected that Iron Curtain. We are Rangers - DEFENDERS of the faith.

Apart from the fact the goal was so reminiscent of the equalisers netted by the Jambos and the sheep in recent days, it also reminded us of the fact Quinn scored agin us at Fir Park in the League Cup this season. Porter had scored agin us in the SPL match at Motherwell - so it was only right and proper he should pop up to head home our second of the game. Charlie Adam had an indifferent game but his corner caused just enough confusion for Porter to put it into his own net and it came just quickly enough after the Motherwell equaliser for us to puncture the visitors burgeoning sense of self-import. We stopped them before they realised they really might win this one.

It was only entirely predictable that Kris Boyd, on as a sub, should tie things up with an injury-time third. Boyd has scored in EVERY Rangers-Motherwell game of this season and this calendar year. Cousin and Naisy will soften them up - the Boydster comes on to apply the coup de grâce . Sounds so straightforward in retrospect. If only I’d known that was how Walter intended it before kick-off - I could maybe have avoided those three heart-ttacks.

And as Boydy wrapped up the points, Alex McLeish’s Rangers side was seen to have partially re-emerged. Chris Burke got his first full run-out in ages and, by and large, did everything Lee McCulloch doesn’t and did it damn well. He’s not a player I’m particulalry keen on, Burkey and I’d have Lee McCulloch straight back in the side in his place against Hibs if it was a straight choice - but Burke was a minor revelation today. It was one of those days when he was “on his game” or, as I’ve always supected, “in the mood” more like. He never did it often enough, even allowing for injuries, but I was helluva shocked to see how quickly he slotted back into the pace of things today. He runs and runs and runs - shits out of tackles - but runs again and, when he’s “on form” like this, the ball does kinda stick to his feet. Thomas Buffel appeared for the first time in 23 years and although his first contribution was to take a place on his own goal-line which enabled him to watch Paul Quinn’s header sail stright over him and into our net - he too ened the game doing a fair impersonation of himself at his best, in the days when Rangers won the 2004/2005 SPL title. We won that title at Easter Road. Next stop?

Celtic won at Tannadice today. We lost in our visit to Tannadice this season so far.

Celtci drew at home with St Mirren - we beat St Mirren at home.

Celtic drew at Tynecastle, we lost at Tynecastle. Celtic won at Pittodrie, we drew at Pittodrie. Celtic lost at Inverness - we won at Inverness. Celtic drew at home with Hibs - we LOST at home to Hibs.

The games-in-hand are a bit of a con-trick. Celtic haven’t been doing any worse than us. In fact, we’re almost as bad as each other at dropping points this season. There are few teams who’ve lost both their games to Rangers AND Celtic this season so far. We really have to start making a serious dent to Celtic’s confidence AWAY from Old Firm games. We would all swap a win at Easter Road for a win at Parkhead but, really, as we’re trying to topple the reigning champions it’s time we started winning Old Firm games AND all the other games: Celtic lost at Easter Road this season - so this coming Saturday’s 12:30 kick-off is every bit as important as next Wednesday’s lunch-time battle with the Irish.

Christmas is over: Let’s start spoiling EVERYONE ELSE’S party!

About this entry

You’re currently reading “To Well and Back (GERS … 3 M’Well … 1),” an entry on FatEck.co.uk

Published:
12.26.07 / 7pm
Category:
News