FEEL THE LOVE … AS WE SLIP IT INSIDE EWE

Time for us to end all this stuff. We’ve gottae draw a line under all this pullavah of the last week - the WE LOVE MURRAY mob versus the WE HATE MURRAY quota versus the WE DON’T LOVE OR HATE EMBDY WE JUST WANT TO SEE RANGERS WIN army. It’s a tortuous affair for all Bluenoses.

I feel the win over Hearts, the new signings and the overall atmosphere last Saturday confirmed that it IS over. But we need to keep it that way.

It’s emotionally draining and psychologically confusing. To feel yer going against yer ain, never mind the grain, never has been and never will be something any sane person can deal with. Nor me neither.

It’s had us in a turmoil - it’s had me VERY DEFINITE about certain material matters and points of fact but very befuddled emotionally. Don’t want to argue with Rangers fans. Often have to - never want to.

So Wednesday 20th August’s international friendly match seemed just the tonic. What better way to regather yer feelings about yer club side than by traipsing along to a fairly hamrless wee outing of yer national side.

What could be better to re-order yer nerves into their correct filing cabinets of the heart? A Scotland game - The Rangers stuff would have to be put aside and every Bear in attendance would be very club neutral: Nice and relaxing.

Oh yes.

What better for a Rangers fan drained by internecine squabbling than to be stood in a huge empty section of seating in the Celtic End of Hampden’s main stand, standing for God Save The Queen but being asked to boo it even though the Tartan Army types pride themselves on never booing another team’s national anthem like what England fans do - ye know ,”england”, as in the strip worn by some Bears at Ibrox in past years - and then singing Flower of Scotland at the behest of a man in a kilt - ye know, the Kilt, invented by a German-born ironing guru for Victorian England’s subjugating Walter Scotticisms about their northern neighbour - and seeing ten thousand bears on the Rangers end at Hampden … wearing green tops … doing the bouncey, singing “Rule Britannia” and cheering a team in a green-and-white strip playing against a team in blue while waving about a zillion Red Hands of Ulster yet cheering AGAINST my team, the home team …and … what the fu.. who do I? …where was I …? … who are they …? Ulster is a what now ..?

Oh aye - that was REALLY STRAIGHTFORWARD, last night. REALLY settling for my brain. And then I’m cheering Scott Brown to get a guy sent off for the team with the Ulster stuff going on among their support and then Allan McGregor’s bringing somebody down for a penalty and I’m thinking “Fuck - they’ll say he did that just to give Norn Iron a win so he wouldnae get booed by the real hardcore Rangers fans” and then I’m thinking “but real hardcore Rangers fans are the ones who don’t give a fuck about the Irish issue they just want Rangers to do well and isn’t Scotland a part of the Union anyway so what are these pro-Ulster Scottish fuckwits I’m worrying about to do with anything? … or am I worried about Celtic fans thinking Alln McGregor’s a sell-out for giving the legendary David Healey - famous flute player of Craven Cottage - a free shot at Scotland’s goal and what the hell should I worry what those arseholes think anyway because they’re just as bad as the Unionists fae Larkhall if they think this game has anything to do with …

“GAUN YERSELF, AL!!! GETTFUKININTHERE BIG MAAAAN!!! YEEESSSSS!” - out my seat, cheering like a maddo as, for the second time in ten days, I’m at a game where Allan McGregor is a hero.

GODDAMM!!! There’s nothing like the fitbaw - the sheer, visceral physical exertion of a football match, to sort out yer true loyalties. Scotland goalie gives away penalty - Scotland goalie saves penalty and my loyalties are twice reconfirmed as my club side’s goalie gets another few prestige dollars towards his return ticket from Kaunas. We all know who we really support, what our real football; priorities are - even if our brain sometimes tells us otherwise. The real answer is in yer ticker and yer gonads.

The Norn Iron support were BRILLIANT last night. Best and biggest travelling support I’ve ever seen at Hampden for a Scotand game and it just felt so right that I was looking up towards them, in a wee corner, making more noise and creating more of a scene than anyone else in the larger part of the stadium: That’s the six counties as they stand in Britain as a whole. London is forced to look up and left so many times as that wee corner grabs all the headlines, makes all the noise.

But that’s not Scotland. And that’s not Rangers. And, as that unknown economics expert is always reported to have said, there’s nothing like a good war to sort things out. I aint no Maynard Kaynes but I do know this - there’s nothing like Aberdeen at Pittodrie and Celtic at Parkhead to bring Rangers fans together. We’ve been going through the great depression in the last few weeks but now Germany have invaded Poland and it’s Mum’s The Word, Dig For Blighty and Careless Talk Costs Lives: Our arch enemies - our common enemies are coming over the horizon. Unite for the fight. Let’s invade those bastards on successive Saturdays and, pro-Murray, Anti-Murray, uncle Murray or just plain “Noh give a fuck who the chairman is”, it don’t matter, peepelle - we’re all on the same side for these battles. Three cheers for the Red White and Blue, troops - we’re going over the top (and, as ye can see by thsi rant, I’ve already started with the OTT stuff).

Fail to win at the sheepdome and/or drop three points at The pigerry and, yes, the internecine stuff will begin again. This time, Murray could very well be ousted just through sheer pissed-offednesss. But while some may have whispered that defeat to Hearts last Saturday would have been good in the long-term - these would be the same psychotics who though reaching the UEFA Cup Final was “papering over the cracks” (no doubt winning the Champions League would be “a pyrrhic victory” then??!!) - no Rangers fan of any age, politics, gender, waist-size or predeliction involving Mars bars would EVER want anything other than TOTAL VICTORY at our two least favourite venues, against our two even leaster favouriter opponents.

This Tursday and Friday we’ve got to feel the love, troops. We got to get together and chill so we can fight them uptight Dons and Tims. Shove on some Barry White, some Womack and Womack. Dig oot yer auld Vinyl Marvin Gaye, download some Sly and the Family S. T. O. N. Eeeeeeeeee…. but just do it, Bears. Just be cool.

Let’s feel the love, Bears. Let’s get on a mellow trip with each other. Let’s unite. Let’s be brothers, sisters, one people - one soulful mission; And we’ll start by getting on down with some of those lovely lady sheeps of Pittifultoddrie this Saturday lunch-time. Oh yeah. Let’s do it to them.

In the concourse of the Hampden South Stand, in section “I”, they have on the wall, among other more commendable blow-ups, a big picture of the Scotland v Peru game at the 1978 World Cup finals. In an area of our national stadium supposedly decorated for effect, this is self-defeating. This is counter-productive. So, even if ye have to be counter-intuitive, if yer a Bear, lets’ not make the same mistake as the SFA interior decorators this Saturday or next. Let’s be one people, one love, ONE MUTHERFUCKING HUUUUUGE ARMY OF BATTLE-FEVERED BEARS: Bring it on, and let’s GET IT on.

Alright?

Alright!

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Published:
08.21.08 / 7pm
Category:
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